Introducing "COXS" Fans

We've taken in over a dozen games at Wrigley this year and find that the feeling at the ballpark is starting to resemble 2003; fun in the sun, great baseball, a pennant chase, and an increasing amount of d- bag fans.

Last year and the year before, we were blessed with a signigicant drop in their numbers, but their return is definite. Where did they go? Where have they been? We now know: US Cellular Field.

Taking into account our previous thought on the Cubs Fan / Sox Fan Douche Bag problem and Frank the Tank's recent thoughts, we decided to meditate on this a little further. We thought. We thought some more. We had Intern Richie get us some coffee, then thought even more. Finally, the answer hit us like in the head like we coached first base for the Royals: These people are COXS Fans.

Main Entry: coxs
Pronunciation: 'cocks
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural coxi
Usage: often attributive
Etymology: Middle English cockes, probably from Middle French dialect (Walloon) coche, from obsolete or dialect Dutch coockhe, coocje; probably akin to Middle Low German cjockes bird.

1. a migrant baseball fan that shifts between winning teams. Loud and obnoxious, often vocalizing witless insults and displaying an egregious lack of knowledge of the game, COXS are easily identified by one or more of the following apparel choices. (see also above image)

• Hat: Preferably a visor, turned backwards and upside down, though the more affluent coxi wear Red Sox or Yankees hat. A rare COXS wears the Irish green team hat with clover and team logo in white.


• Shirt: Sleeveless, either by design or self made, often with a frat function theme (ie, eg. SIU DKE Spring Formal '04.) On a cool evening, COXS fans will wear a replica jersey with team tee shirt underneath, for extra support. The upper crust COXS fans occasionally are found in a team golf shirt.


• Pants: Cargo Shorts, extra frayed. North Shore or Beverly COXS supporter go with the pressed khaki pants and Blackberry or cell phone holder on their belt.

We hope that this definition enters into the lexicon of both White Sox and Cub's fans. For example, "The game was great, but I was surrounded by a bunch of COXS" or "You don't know who David Kelton was? You're such a COXS!"

We eagerly await your thoughts on this matter.

Note: We realize Intern Smarsh sucked today and are avoiding discussing the recent Ted Lilly Fan Club Intern Crisis (TLFCIC) as much as we can.