FontenYES and The Brew Crew

First order of business. We're thieves. We stole that FontenYES moniker from one of our myspace friends. We're on myspace and we're hip like that. Stop judging us.

Secondly, we've been out of the FC for the past few days. Traveling to the West Coast and back, even catching a ball game in the Bay. Many apologies for the lack of posting. We do, in fact, have a small life outside of the FC.

Low and behold, we get back in town and that some bottles in the Ted Lilly Fan Club Liquor Cabinet (TLFCLC) have been moved and our nightly Scotch (Neat) was watered down. We've also found a six game win streak, both our interns absolutely dealing, Ted "The Professional" Lilly getting his sixth win, Frenchie Fontenot (Ted Lilly Warrior) mashing, and an craving for another crack at AT&T Park's Garlic Fries. What the Clay Rapada is going on here?

We've been Fontenot fans for a long time and we're still crazy about that little guy. But, let's all take a deep breath. He's hitting .406 right now, which will probably drop to .290 in a few weeks. Guess what? We love that too. We've said it all along. If DeRosa, TheRiot, or Fontenot can give this Cub team just a little production from the middle infield, then the Cub's offense will click. As for now, we're printing up our Fontenot Four Hundred Club Tee Shirts. Available soon.

Brewers in Town! We know it's early, but another important series for our Interns. Intern Richie's already getting fired up with his new Snow Patrol album and Intern Smarsh is shooting at squirrels. We feel good about this. We'll have a tale of the tape tomorrow.

We've covered quite a bit here and we're all linked out. It's nice to be back, especially with the special events we've lined up for July. That right Ted Heads.... maybe we shouldn't reveal our little surprise just yet. Stick around... more interesting events to come, we promise.

Goodbye Darkness, Hello Ted Lilly...

Crazy day around the TL FC yesterday. Storm clouds starting brewing up a pot of nasty early afternoon and then, at 3 or so, unleashed all sorts of hell upon the North Side of Chicago. Thankfully, we didn't lose power but we did have to take Smarsh outside to splash in the puddle (complete in his Morton Salt yellow galoshes) and Koyie Hill spent the entire day frightened underneath his racecar bed.

"This was a very intense and localized storm," said Kevin Smith, spokesman for the city's Office of Emergency Management (and friend of the Fan Club). "It seems like the North Side was hit a little bit harder, but it was brief."

Then, keeping the pot of nasty uber fresh, Ted Lilly unleashed his own intense storm on the visiting Colorado Rockes, going six innings and giving up four earned runs with five strikeouts.

However, the only stat that mattered at the end of the day was the one in the Win column (Note: Intern Richie gave us all copies of "101 Best Sports Cliches" for Father's Day despite the fact that we kept telling him that we are not his dad. Page 57 gave us that little gem on the Win stat).

According to the TLFCSC (Ted Lilly Fan Club Super Computer), with 86 games left in the season, if they continue this streak, the Cubs will end up with 123 wins beating the 2001 Mariners by 7 games for best single season record. Of course, due to the Chicago heat, we have converted the TLFCSC into a slushee machine (Banana Cherry? Yummy....) so those numbers might be off.

The Bull goes today at 2:20...Fire it up Ted Heads

White Sox Fans Are The New Cubs Fans

That's right Bridgeport! Hear it loud and clear Cork and Kerry! You're once proud fan base has offically become what it so despises, Chicago Cubs Baseball Fans.

We've got proof. We saw only White Sox hats at a recent "the Fray" concert and no Cubs hats. Why were we at The Fray? 'cause Intern Richie and his buddies needed an adult to shaperone. We didn't like it. No. Sir. But apparently White Sox nation loves swaying with their main girl (in her youth small Crede jersey), to their hipster vibes, while downing a hurricane margarita. More scary that the act on stage. We. Can. Not. Lie.

What happened to the inexplicable violence? What happened to the illiteracy and lack of technical knowledge resulting in unemployment? Heck, Frank the Tank (a rabid Sox fan who we begrudingly have a healthy respect for at the TL FC) has a web page! Four years ago, most White Sox fans couldn't turn on their computer!

Your fans are all over myspace. Myspace? Wouldn't a true Sox fan punch anyone with a myspace page... "whatya sayz 'bout 'myface'!" We're fine with this new phenomenon. It annoys the heck out of you and entertains us.

Sorry. We know it's a little off topic for us, but those McDonald's Rivalry commerials have us all fired up for some cross town baseball. We've already tried to shave off the eyebrows of some dirtbag we saw on the El this morning...

We don't know where to go from here. Having a "dialogue" with a Sox fan is a new thing for us; we're used to grunting instead of logic thought. However, we're open minded and thusly, open the floor to any responces... that is, if you can type. If it makes you feel better, we will also agree to use mono-syllabic works.

Fire it up Ted Heads....Three game series at the Thunderdome on the South Side starts at 3 pm today. Eyebrowless Zambrano takes the mound.

TL Start #15: A Non- Quality Post

TL Delivers Another Non- Quality Curve For Another Non- Quality K

As Len and Bob rightly pointed out, ad nausea, Ted's a fly ball pitcher who's got problems in launching pad's like Arlington. So as today unfolded, we weren't totally surprised as the runs started to pile up. Our boy gave up a couple back to back bombs, a walk, a crappy long double and voila! a 0-5 deficit. Predictably, we then freaked out, pulled out some hair, and screamed, "Crappy Pants."

You'd expect Game Over, but Teddy Baseball had other thoughts. The Consummate Professional, Ted Lilly, hammered out the next 10 batters and kept his team in the game. Next thing you know 5-5 into the ninth. Of course, we're now sick after losing, but we're going to quickly analyze the TL start in between dry heaves.

How bad was today's start? In our totally unbiased opinion* not that bad. Here's his line...

7.0 IP 6 H 5 ER 1 BB 10 K

In our humble opinion, a few of those runs shouldn't have scored (staring at you Angel Pagan.) The Cub's should also have scored more runs, especially when the bases are loaded with no outs. We tend to think the Cub's should plate at least one in those situations. Really. Is that too much to ask?

TL gets a No Decision and the terrible "Non Quality Start" designation. Riddle us this... Besides for the walk- double combo in the third, what was "non- quality" about today's start? Back to Back homers are more of a freak show than a pounding (especially in places like Arlington and Coors) and TL's other stats suggest quasi dominant performance. Six hits and 10k's spread over 7 innings, with only one walk, that's pretty "quality" in our book. But that's just our totally unbiased opinion.**

* - We're completely biased
** - Honestly, we're biased

Ted Lilly Fan Club Theme Song Contest Finals

Votes are in, numbers have been counted and thanks to all those who took the time to send us their opinion or call into the 1-800 TLFCTSCH (Ted Lilly Fan Club Theme Song Contest Hotline).

The Ted Lilly Fan Club is proud to announce the two finalists for the Ted Lilly Fan Club Theme Song. Keep in mind that this theme song will not only be used to fire everyone up at the Fan Club every fifth day but will probably also become the 3 am song at the Cubby Bear on Saturday nights or even become the 'it' wedding song of the season.

Three quick notes. Despite his attempts to stuff the ballott box, we are disallowing Intern Richie Hill's votes for Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend". While we agree that it's a incredibly catching pop tune, we couldn't believe that this was his suggestion to fire up TL and the FC. As punishment, we've forced to him to sit down and watch a marathon of those TLC surgery programs.

Secondly, in order to keep this whole process legit, we cashed in the FC's piggy bank and hired the good folks at Ernst & Young to supervise the entire process.

Third, Bob Brenley's mustache is that much more legitimate in hi-def. Trust us....

Without further adieu, the two finalists for TLFC Theme Song Are:

"World's Greatest" by R. Kelly. Yes, he's got some ultra weird personal habits and, yes, he might be convicted of child porn charges but let's sample some of the lyrics. "Im that little bit of hope in my backs against the rope I can feel it, Im the worlds greatest." Not a dry eye in the TL FC right now....

and

"Whoo! Allright-Yeah...uh Huh" by the Rapture. Not so much your traditional R&B inspirational song, "Whoo.." is very much more of your "teenage gets hopped up on goofballs and goes to a rave in a random downtown warehouse" vibe.

Let the final's voting begin....Send your votes to TedLillyRules@gmail.com

Barrett Gets Traded For Bag of Balls, BK Gift Certificates

"I'd kick both of your Asses"

The big news this morning certainly isn't what we thought it would be. Instead of, Cub Bullpen Gets Shit Together, we were treated with news of the Michael Barrett trade. Our initial thoughts were that this was an ill advised move to appease your pseudo star pitcher and a weak attempt to cure the seemingly endless supply of Cub's Clubhouse problems... but we realized that's the easy route and we'll likely see a crappy Paul Sullivan column saying the exact same thing.

We sent Intern Richie for some Bob Tail coffee and a toasted bagel with cream cheese, thought about it, nourished ourselves, thought about it some more, dominated the NY Times crossword, and then thought some more. Then the epiphany. This isn't that big of a deal.

We're Barrett apologists. We thought he was a steal when we got him from the A's in that strange deal. We loved his bat and used our stat geek resources and baseball cliche handbook when anyone brought up his defense. "His production outweighs his defense," we'd say, "He's a competitor that brings fire to the clubhouse!"

But now he's going to be a free agent. Management choices were small. His bat improves, Cub's lose him for nothing at the end of the year. He continues to get in bad situations, his value decreases on the trade market. We trade him now, we get something.

What we got, we have no fricking idea. We'll leave that to the good folks at The Cub Reporter. But the bottom line is this, it's a move we can't argue with. We now will go to our Special Place, cross our fingers and hide, hoping that for ever more 2007 is remembered as, "The Koyie Hill Year."

Lee Gets 5 Game Ban - Lilly Ready To Throw At MLB Execs

Wow! We're refreshed. We spent all weekend at the Ted Lilly Fan Club Lake House (TLFCLH) just relaxing. Though Intern Richie spent most of the weekend on the pier, (little buddy can't swim too well) the rest of us, including Intern Smarsh, enjoyed some killer kiteboarding and a few Bud Extra's. Good Times.

Of course, we weren't too pleased with Saturday or Sunday's Cub's game. Quick recap. Saturday featured Crazy Z taking a no-no into the eighth and an all out brawl. Then Loses. How? How, as a teammate, do you a) not do everything you can to score a run for your pitcher b) sit there and lose a game, at home, to a team you just fought. This uber let down set the perfect stage for Sunday's Padre batting practice off Intern Richie and limp offense.

We're concerned about the ramifications of this weekend and we're not talking about our excessive sunburn. Lee gets suspended five days; a gift, but still a long time to have the best offensive player in the NL watching from the stands. Intern Richie, he's obviously tipping his pitches. He doesn't have much in his arsenal besides fastball - curve, so if you know that one of those pitches is or isn't coming your way, you can absolutely tee off on him.

This is a big week for Ted Heads. We need Smarsh and TL to pitch well and keep their offense in the game. We need to see Intern Richie do some work in the film room, shake off a bad start, and find time to learn to swim. Rich. You look stupid and are too old to wear the floaties, we expect you to spend some time in the Hotel Pool and figure this out fast. Fire it up, TL Nation! Smarsh Tonight. The Duke Tomorrow. TL Thursday.

TL Start #14: Ted Owns Torrance

Torrance Loves TL

Much excitement at TL FC HQ this afternoon. Bud Extra's in hand, we watched, with bated breath, as TL won the Battle Of Torrance and got his groove back.

Ted Heads know that TL is at his best when he has his control and then can drop the "Lilly Hammer" curve to wavering hitters. Though today wasn't his best, TL used maximized his other strength, that of veteran pitcher, to keep his team in the game. Not great stuff, but consistently getting ahead of the count, minimizing his walks, and keeping the ball in the park (thanks fans!) made for a big TL W.

Let's be fair. We're slightly concerned that TL didn't miss a whole lot of bats today and we think the few hits was more a function of great defense than total control, but it's hard to complain about this line...

8.0 IP 6 H 1 R 1 ER 1BB 3K

Ted's great start, a Frenchie HR, another stellar ninth by the under appreciated Dempster, and TL FC HQ couldn't be a happier place right now; We're very excited to see this team roll again... might we be clairvoyant?

An Epic Battle Looms

Today may be the single most important day in the history of Torrance, California. Using our favorite relaiable source, wikipedia.org, we gathered this nifty tidbit...

"Torrance was originally part of the 1784 Rancho San Pedro Spanish land grant, issued to Juan Jose Dominguez, signed by King Carlos III of the Spanish Empire."

Shocking (we know) that a town so rich in history may one day be defined by the events that transpire this afternoon. At 1:20 CST, two native sons of battle it out. Our Boy Ted versus Fat David Wells in the BATTLE FOR TORRANCE.

TGITLF

HOLY F*#K THIS GUY LOOKS CRAZY

Just 'cause you're lefty, doesn't mean you're automatically an intern... you scary SOB

Ted Heads. That insane looking young gentleman is new Cub reliever, Clay Rapada. When we heard that Orange Guy was sent down to the minors we were immediately upset, but we understand. With Pie playing everyday, Murty's the odd man out. We think he'll benefit from some time in Des Moines, it's nice there. We think he'll rake at the plate and at the local Hooters. In fact, we think he'll hit so well that next time up he's going to begin a streak of starting everyday for several years. But that's just our opinion, not gospel.

Then horror set in at TL FC HQ. We told Intern Richie to find out who was taking Orange Guy's place and the next thing you know, we look over, and Richie was sitting in his own pittle, staring at the TL FC Super Computer Video Screen (TLFCSCVS). Take our word for it, this image is even more horrifying on a 71" plasma. We've spent the last 4 hours in our Special Place trying to comprehend that image, but to no avail.

Clay. Hi. We're TL FC. Don't Kill Us. Please.

Smarsh Solves Age Old Question: Snarf vs. Digimon

Snarf wins! What a game by Intern Smarsh. After Tuesday's marathon let down, the team, the bullpen , and TL FC needed that win. Our new boy, Dempster pitched again (by our count the fifth straight day) and Frenchie Fontenot had the game winning hit. Pretty much the happiest we could have been on a non TL start day. We were there. We even drank beer. Lots of beer.

We're going to digress from our TL centric propaganda for a second because Ichiro! was simply awesome to watch. On TV, you can see that he's an incredible hitter but that doesn't do justice to seeing him live at then ball park. He's lightning out of the batters box and fast as hell on the base path. In the outfield, he's immediately floating to every ball hit his way and he's got a cannon that runners are literally afraid to challenge.

Throw in all of Ichiro! 's the pseudo- effete approach to his hitting (the stance, etc) and we were in total awe. Man crush level. How could you not love a guy that has his first name on the back of his jersey? Wouldn't it be awesome if TL had "Ted" on the back of his uni? We love Ichiro! and we're not ashamed to admit that. He's now in our veil of protection. Welcome.

Mess with Ted Lilly---You Get the Horns....

Okay...so we know we've already gone over the Ted Lilly ejection from Sunday night's game but word out of Chicago today that TL will not be suspended for his actions. Big sigh of relief at the ole TL FC this morning...

Of course, that's all good and nice but, much like the Sopranos ending, we here at the TL FC are left feeling a bit, ummm, unsatisfied. Not only should TL not be suspended, we think that he should be applauded by Cubs fans everywhere for doing what's right...Ted's always been a team guy (enter cliched sports phrase here: "locker room guy" or "first one at practice, last one to leave" or "he does the little things that don't show up in a stat sheet") and we think that the this could be the start of something special for TL and the Cubs.

Of course, being a numbers-driven society, we checked with the TL FC Super Computer which agreed with us. TL FC SC projects Ted to end the season with 11-12 wins, a boatload of strikeouts and a permanent place in the hearts of NorthSiders.

Are we homers? Probably...but hope springs eternal when TL takes the mound.

Marshall Plan gets enacted at 7:05 cst...Fire It Up...

In Defense Of Dempster

Arm Wrestling For Post Game Shots at High Top's

The Closer is rarely the hero, always the proverbial goat. For Ryan Dempster, we can't seem to remember the last time we saw him trotting in from left field and said to ourselves, "It's over... Cub's win." Most of the time, we cringe and lament, "It's over... another game blown by the bullpen." Last night, we decided we weren't being fair.

If you'll look at Demp a little more objectively, his miserable failures aren't as frequent as they seem. Between the Met's fiasco over several weeks ago and Sunday's melt down, Demp had thrown 8 straight scoreless innings, giving up only 4 hits and striking out 7 and walking 2. Hey! That's pretty darned good.

Being that we're pretty sure that a Closer isn't worth BJ Ryan money, average works just fine for us. All we want in a closer is someone who's mentally tough and wears great facial hair. Dempster came last night, after blowing the lead Sunday, and nailed the coffin in a one run lead. Mentally strong. Check. Facial Hair. Check Plus. More importantly, we like him as a clubhouse guy, an lunch pale guy, someone we'd like to have beers with. Being Canadian, he may also speak French, which is irrelevant... or is it?

Demp, you can fly with TL anytime, you're good by us.

Mike Fontentot: Ted Lilly Warrior

Can You Smell What The Frenchie Is Cookin'?!?

We've expressed our love of Frenchie Fontenot before, but yesterday he took our love to the next level. We proudly introduce the Ted Lilly Circle of Ted Lilly Warrior's (TLCOTLW) and it's first inductie, Mike Fontenot. Check out this blow.... ouch!

How is it that Renter- pee- a (tee hee hee) isn't immediately thrown out for that? Fontenot, like a noble Ted Lilly Warrior should, took the blow and saved retaliation for a later day. We doubt Intern Richie could have take a blow so smoothly and we fault him for that even though he wasn't involved.


We also know that this is a terrible photo. At least it's not as bad as some of our earlier attempts...

Ted Lilly Presents....

We've been burning the mid night oil at the TL FC HQ thinking about the hatchet job put to our boy TL last night. Let's face it, TL was headed for a no hitter. He K'd the first two Braves and then took Renteria 0-2... pro rated that's 27 k's.... then he's thrown out.... so here's what we think....

We have absolutely no problem with what transpired last evening. None at all. A lot of chatter over the umps decision not to warn TL or the Cubs... we don't really care about that either. Here's why...

Baseball is a game of both macro and micro moments; that's what makes the game so great. On a micro level, the game is all about individual battles. Pitcher vs. Batter. Batted Ball vs. Fielder. Fielder vs. Runner. Every AB is a game within itself, one man versus another.

We'd be remiss to not discuss the effect of the game itself on each of these individual battles. 2 outs, bottom of the ninth, that individual battle is clearly intensified. However, each battle must also be taken in the context of the season itself and that's what last night was about. It was a Truly Important Ted Lilly Moment (TITLM).

Ted Lilly, seeing that one of his own was unfairly thrown at by uber puss Tim Hudson, knowing that his clubhouse has been recently rocked by internal strife, shows some loyalty and goes high and tight to tell the league that no one screws around with one of his guys. Simple as that. So the Cubs lost this micro moment, if this season is to be salvaged, this one pitch will be one of the macro moments that did it. We're proud of our boy.

MLB Draft Weirds Us Out

For a number of reasons, we completely don't understand the MLB Draft. First off, there are 80 rounds of insanity... so many that in one year a GM drafted his daughter*. How does that make sense?

Then there's the whole process of examining high school boy "weirdness." We're slightly disturbed with the "perfect body" and "lean, compact, swing" homo- erotic terminology. We're pretty liberal around here, but wouldn't it make more sense to talk about their ability to hit a fastball or command of their breaking pitches?

Finally, it seems like talent is the last thing these guys consider. Kyle Russell, Texas outfield, obliterated the Big 12 Home Run record. End result; fifth round draft choice by the Cards. Reasons he fell, "signablity" and he "might" not be able to hit with a wooden bat.

What does this have to do with Ted Lilly? Nothing. Nothing at all. In fact, we created this post yesterday and then shelved it because it was irrelevant. Reading the papers today, the draft confused us more and suddenly this post was relevant . So there.

* Unconfirmed. We looked everywhere for this story, if you know where it is, let us know. Ahh, the warm embrace of the wild west blogosphere, where one can recklessly spread half- truths

Cub Bullpen Goes For "Wacky" Over "Quality"

Both of you are clowns.... and we love that.

Just before the game yesterday, the Cubs called up 21 year old right hander (and hilarious physical comedian) Sean Gallagher. Angel Guzman, who's not Ted Lilly, was put on the 15 day DL with his favorite injury, forearm stiffness. Guzman's had this before, and as devastating/ frustrating as it must be, we have always found the description really funny... forearm stiffness.

Gallagher is one of the Cubs uber pitching prospects and should be fun to watch. Unfortunately for Sean, he's not left handed and therefore he can't qualify for an internship. Fortunately for Sean, that roster picture really does it for us. so we might make an exception to the rule. That's the kind of pressue you should be feeling Sean, welcome to The Show.

And yes, we've already got a similarly hilarious picture ready for when Donald Veal gets called up.

TL Start #12: Let's Get This Over With

No need for a recap, much of the important stuff we covered last night. We're concerned, we can't lie, but we're still on board. A few musings and then we'll let you go...

• Prince Fielder is awesome.
• Ted needs to find his control first, then go back to the Lilly Hammer. Throwing hanging curves isn't exactly, "pitching to contact." Too many walks.
  
• We had one too many Bud Extra's last night and our heads hurt.
• Len and Bob... if we could, we'd give you a shout out back at ya. We're still glowing from that moment.
  
• Why was everyone... Ned Yost... Len... Bob... wearing jackets IN A DOME? Why is it so cold in there?

We'll have more for you Ted Heads once we stop dry heaving. Stick around.

TL FC Live Blog: We've Got a Yost Infection

7:05: Underway. Bud Extra...extra cold and extra smooth.
7:07: Soriano and Pie are roommates? Think they split the cable bill? Cue Odd Couple music.
7:10: Soriano gets a hit. Pie now gets dinner tonight.
7:12: Send your questions to TedLillyRules@gmail.com
7:19: The bunt, we won't mention. First TL shot, we will. Ted looks, as always, handsome and focused. Kinda our Clooney? We just sent a friendly hello to Len and Bob at WGN... we'll do this until we get a response... Corey Hart wears his sun glasses at night.
7:22 Ted throws his first pitch, strike. Get used to it Brew Crew.
7:23 Holy SHIT Len and Bob give us a shout out.
7:26 Ok, we're back. TL trying to get his breaking ball rolling, have trouble. Battles back against JJ Hardy. Throws a 3-0 breaking ball and gets another, brings it around to 3-2. That's why we love TL, he's not afraid to play his game. Work fast. Pitch to contact and not get phased
7:36 Wow. Not a great first from TL. In his successful starts this year he's walked one, maybe two batters, and had that Lilly Hammer working. So far tonight, he's a little off. We're not worried, we've seen this before. We'd rather have him start outta a groove then work into it, then implode. We think he's a smart enough pitcher to know how to win with mediocre stuff.
7:40: Lots of email after the Len/Bob shout out....but special thanks to TL FC SuperFan Pete for the virtual BudExtra toast email. Keep that BudExtra smooth and TL's going to be a-ok. Fire it up.
7:46: Who the hell is Joe Rios and why is he Mr. Chicago? TL FC's crack research staff is on it....TL needs a quick inning
7:48: Hung a curve. Bad idea jeans.
7:53: gulp.
7:55: Quick bit of trivia: Ned Yost worked on Dale Earnhardt's pit crew during strike season.
8:03 Pie having trouble with the winds in the dome
8:06: The Claudio Vargas Fan Club has contacted us to ask if we are interested in membership. We declined.
8:09 Let's be honest. We really screwed Ted tonight. The Live Blog is a ton of pressure. This will never happen again.
8:20 TL's put us in a hole, which stinks. But what do you want from the guy? He's 4-3 and outside of Marquis, he's been the best Cub starter this year (if not better than Marquis.) He kept the Cubs in every game he's pitched (except for today) and has been due for a mediocre/bad spot here and there. More worrysome is our theory that TL may be tipping his pitches. Through the mirrcle of DVR we were able to watch the Corey Hart (new arch enemy) and Prince Fielder homers in absolute horror. Especially in the Fielder homer, it appears as if the batter knew what was coming. He sat on a curve before it was even at the plate. This is a guy that's hit 20 HR so far, it's not like he's just guessing every time he comes to the plate, he's got a quick bat. If you look at the replay's, it looks like 16 inch softball out there. Color us slightly concerned.
8:30: Anyone here rooting for Phil Leotardo?
8:41 What's up with Sinatro's (first base coach) hand? He's looks like Universal Solidier with that cast... if you can't tell, our Mountain Dew Buzz has worn off a touch...
8:44: gulp

8:52 Thorton Grad Cliff Floyd goes ya ya. TL still in line for the W if we can put up 5 more. Hope springs eternal...

9:02: Ten minutes later. The Riot splits the gap and goes double. TL still in line for the W or, at least, the ND. Vargas! is gone. Welcome to the comeback trail...

9:05 Isn't Tony Gwynn retired and way more fat? Pinch hitter on deck for TL... We guess we understand

9:09: Confession time. Mike Maddux has an amazing 'stache, Magnum PI style. Bigger question is where's Higgins?

9:10 TL removed. That ends it for us, never to be done again. We're a little worried about the pitch tipping, but remain optimisitic. Our TL FC AS dream may not be a reality, but if the Cubs are going to go anywhere, our boy is going to need to get his wins. We'd like to once again welcome those of you first to the FC, we hope to see you again. We've got some interesting things planned for the next few days round these parts, so stick around, it's gonna be fun.

TL FC....OUT.

Fan Club House Cleaning...

All sorts of house cleaning issues to clean up before tonight's 1st annual TLFCIGBA (aka Ted Lilly Fan Club In-Game Blogging Activity) so let's buckle ourselves in and get right into the action

1. TB Patient's Wife. Seriously, have you seen her? Maybe it's the surgical mask she's wearing but we're betting that she's a classic UGa hottie.

Take a look at this one...she's been the screensaver on the Fan Club's IT Departments computers for a few days now.

2. The Sopranos. Wow. Just wow. Granted, we here at the Ted Lilly Fan Club don't officially endorse this broad characterization of Italian-Americans as mobsters but, wow, did you see that last episode? Intern Smarsh has already promised to make a nice big authentic Italian meal for next weekend's finale. TL FC Super Computer prediction involves Paulie Walnuts killing Tony and/or Jerry/Elaine/George and Kramer ending up in jail. TBD.

3. Cubs winning streak. Granted, grumpy Paul Sullivan (aka TL FC Enemy #1) is probably in disbelief or thinks that it's a fluke but it's been a great run thus far since Sweet Lou has been out of the dugout. Of course, Ted gets the ball tonight and, in order to help him get his win, the TL FC has enlisted the support of Haitian Vodoo Priestess Mama Lola to put a hex on Brewers pitcher Claudio Vargas.

Blog diary goes live at 7:05 pm cst so send your questions in to TedLillyRules@gmail.com and get your BudExtra ready.

Fire It Up...

TL FC LB Preview

Ted Heads! Get ready, we're gonna try and Live Blog Tuesday's TL start against the Brew Crew. Email TedLillyRules@gmail.com or use our comments section to suggest topics or participate via Google Chat.

This is going to be hip and edgy. We're going to use this "blogging" to "drop some knowledge" and "inject the funny" into TL's next start. We've got the Bud Extra getting cold right now... it's palpable... we're on the cusp of greatness.

We're obviously excited. Intern Richie is hyped up. Intern Smarsh is in the TL HQ Ice Bath right now, but we know he's fired up. You, TL Nation, let's do this!