Ted Lilly Start #31: Ted Lilly Mad Libs

It’s no surprise to loyal Ted Heads that the TLFC is a big, big fan of nostalgia from the 1980s. Hasslehoff made us cry when he sang “Looking For Freedom” when the Berlin Wall came down in 1989. The TLFC Super Computer fell in love with a little movie called “Tron.” The Rubik's Cube stands next to perpetual motion as one of the two problems that we can never solve. And we still contend that the keyboard guitar (or “keytar”) is one of the sole reasons why America was never invaded by the Russians.

But nothing captures the emotion and synthpop energy of the 1980s like Mad Libs.

Remember Mad Libs? Mad Libs is a word game where one player prompts another for a list of words to substitute for blanks in a story; these word substitutions have an oh-so-humorous effect when the resulting story is then read aloud (let the hilarity ensue...).

Well, in honor of Ted Lilly's 31st start of the year and in an attempt to help all the Jr. Ted Heads out there learn how to write a zany TLFC Game Day Post (TLFCGDP), we bring you:

Mad Libs: Ted Lilly Edition.

It’s Ted Lilly Start #31 and, needless to say, the Ted Lilly Nation is (adjective). We have been up since 8 am drinking (type of extra special, extra Budweiser beer) and putting the finishing touches on our homemade (creepy TL clothing limited to jerseys, t-shirts and cowboy hats).

While it’s been a tough (amount of time that the Cubs have) weeks, we feel pretty confident that Ted’s (chose three descriptors from “rock-hard abs”, “blue-collar mentality”, “lunch pail work ethic”, “Torrance-infused energy” or “bi-partisan leadership”) will lead the Cubs to victory today.

In fact, we are so confident of TL’s ability that we’ve cashed out our government (choose from “t-bills”, “Fennie Mae stock” or “Ron Paul campaign contribution”) and place a big, fat sweaty wager in Vegas on today’s start.

Yep, it's just that easy, Jr. Ted Heads. All you need is an English degree from a decently reputable university, some adult beverages/low grade narcotics and a penchant for pop culture to create a C- level, not-so-funny, only the TLFC's moms love us, thank you for Illinois Correctional Inmates for reading us blog post.

With that in mind, for today's projection, we welcome in Mad Libs' creators Leonard Stern and Roger Price, who published the first Mad Libs book themselves in 1958. Now, obviously, that timeline doesn't make too much sense but let's ignore that for the sake of this internet soap box.

In his 31st start, Ted Lilly will go (enter inning range from 5-7), have (enter strikeout number from 6-8), only allow (small number of bases on balls--maybe 4?) and go (perfect place for an absurd offensive projection for TL considering he's batting a cool .170).

Fire it up, (nickname for Ted Lilly fans).