Given the media buzz around President Obama's first 100 Days in office (full disclosure: we voted a straight Ted Lilly ticket during the last election), we thought that it might be a fun little Friday morning exercise to sit back, relax and provide some early season thoughts on other NL Central opponents (editor's note: this "exercise" is an addition to our normal exercise routine of ab work, boxing a kangaroo and 1000 bat swings in a pool).St. Louis Cardinals (11-5): The ole TLFC would probably just resort to immature name calling when talking about the Cardinals or their semi-literate fans but, in many ways, we're a new-age Fan Club and will begrudgingly give them some early-season, professional respect for how they've played. Sure, Cub Nation took two of three from them before the Red Birds made a Faustian bargain so they didn't have to play Ted (STL fans: Faustian bargain can be defined as one who is "willing to sacrifice anything to satisfy a limitless desire for knowledge or power.") but they are in 1st place...for now.
Early season highlight: Fan's ability to "taste the good life" and use indoor plumbing while staying in Chicago during last weekend's series
Cincinasty Reds (9-6): Still upset from the Red's taking two of three from Cub Nation (including Kuato's victory over TL), we have to admit this time that they are playing well. Great hitting by Joey Votto (.373) and pitching from King D-Bag Arroyo (3 wins) have led their way and, despite Nick Lachey as their SuperFan, they have barrelled their way to 2nd place in the Central.
Early season highlight: (tie) Ability to pawn off 12,000 Ken Griffey Jr. bobbleheads on an unsuspecting Salvation Army shop/addition of chihuahua cheese to skyline chili menu
Pittsburgh Pirates (9-6): Wow. 9-6. Break em up! Break em up! The last time that the Pirates were actually decent, Ted Lilly was just a twinkle in his mother's eye and Bill Mazeroski was warming up for a future appearance in John Fogarty's "Centerfield" video. Freddy "Dirty" Sanchez is back to his 2006 form when he won the batting title and was named one of Pittsburgh's 25 Most Beautiful People. If Paul Maholm, Zach Duke and Ian Snell can keep up their pitching, this has a chance to break .500 for the season which, using Pittsburgh fuzzy math, is equal to winning the World Series.
Early season highlight: City of Pittsburgh making their drinking water safe for human consumption
Milwaukee (6-9): Let's just get the immature, Sigma Chi-friendly "69" joke out of the way (virtual high five). Milwaukee is just about where we thought that they would be. While they have a great offense, led by Ryan Braun (who leads the team in every major offensive category), they also have terrible pitching led by Jeff Suppan (really?). Focus on the Brat Stop and the Packer's Draft, Cheeseheads...
Early season highlight: Dave Bush's near no-hitter on Thursday night.
Houston (6-10): TLFC would like to take a moment out to shed a single tear for Astros superfan and friend-of-the-blog Jordan Rittenberry. Always a true believer, JR predicted that his Stros would win 87 games this year. Sad, sad, sad. Their rotation looks to be a cross between players who were good in pre-2000 (paging Mike Hampton and Russ Ortiz) and Baseball Prospectus cast-offs like Wandy Rodriguez, Brian Moehler and Brandon Backe.
Early season highlight: Opportunity to watch Ted Lilly's greatness in person on April 8.
5 comments:
Love the aggressive title--just the kind of Tedtensity we need leading into a weekend series in STL.
As a Lady TedHead, I can say that I was not offended.
Personally, I am a member of the Ted Lilly Reform Party. Just so you know.
I thought The LillyWhigs was the "official" TLFC endorsed political movement?
The Ted Lilly Reform Party believes in Lillyhammers over diplomacy. We also do not believe in a proportionate response - one slightly inappropriate look at TL, he reserves the right to crush you. With either a Lillyhammer or with his rock hard abs. Because that is something that TL can do.
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