Post HR, Ted admonishes Theriot for not hitting it fartherLots and Lots of talk in the pipes of the Interweb about the sudden emergence of Ryan Theriot's power. We don't have anything to add to this 'story' and we're not going try spin the story as if Ted Lilly was somehow involved (editors note, Ted definitely was involved, see photo evidence above.) Sorry to disappoint.
We're also not going to talk about Big Z's trip to the DL, nor are we going to spin that story as if this might actually be good because it will give Z's shoulder some rest and that Ted can carry the burden. Nope, not us. Instead, we're going all Meta and let ESPN praise Ted and then comment on them (how hip are we?):
On ESPN.com, Chris Singleton, yee of the lifetime 0.286 BA with 45 HR in 700 AB, writes:
Also, Ted Lilly has pitched very well and has already taken the mentality of an ace. He is a competitor regardless and doesn't need to change his approach with Zambrano temporarily out of the rotation.
Now, we're not ones to blast anyones writing, especially someone showing The Love for TL, but TedHeads, what does this mean? Ted doesn't have the mind of an ace, Ted has the mind of a hawk looking to ravage baby rabbits from their mother's flailing paws. Ted doesn't have an approach, he has an obessive desire of the Zodiac Killer, focused on one thing - Winning. Confused, we plugged Singleton's quote into the Ted Lilly Fan Club Super Computer (TLFSC) and this was the output:
Ted Lilly is a M*tha F*%$in' Badass that would kill an baby penguin or eat nails if it meant a Cubs win.
That makes more sense to us, except the nails part, which we already know is one of Ted's favorite prestart meals. So, Mr. Singleton, while we appreciate the Love for Ted, you keep on doing what you're doing and leave the Ted Lilly praise to those that know excessive hyperbole... namely, us.
Thanks to Overnight Pete for the tip.
7 comments:
I love the Super Computer's translation. WAY more accurate.
I think Chris Singleton needs to go through a little TLFC pledge hazing before he becomes a true TedHead.
I didn't see a single reference to TL's abs in that write-up. tsk tsk tsk. Classic TLFC Pledge mistake.
I know what kinda write up doesn't includes Ted's hotness?
Tedheads, you do not think the metaphor of a hawk stalking, then slaughtering, it's prey is hot? Call us animal lovers but we do. We certainly do.
Although I think this guy thought he was complimenting Ted, he actually insulted him by even suggesting that Ted has to change anything because Z is out. (Except maybe taking his place in the rotation?)
Any truth to the rumor that Ted has the equivalent of a baby's arm holding an apple in his pants?
Why would we know? That's aggressive. Plus, as Ted's fastball proves, "It's not what you got, but how you use it."
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