There are very few things that scare us, but we have to admit, we're horrified of Twins.We're no biology experts, but we can vividly recall Kimmy and Karrie Lipton, aka the Lipton twins, telling the collected, and enthralled, us that twins were product of Doctors using a magical sword to cut a baby in half upon birth. Sorry if we're old fashioned, but we don't think doctors should do that.
Equally scary are twins abilities to talk telepathically to each other and feel each other's pain.
Finally, and most horrifying, are the fun family comedies that those Olson Twins put together, which ultimately resulted in Heath Ledger's death. That's just wrong.
So, when we looked at the Cubs schedule early last year and saw "Twins", we circled this up coming weekend as one we'd happily spend in the Ted Lilly Fan Club post Apocalyptic Bunker. Fitting then that TL should take the mound Sunday against these demons from the Northland and with his inspiration, we've decided to fight back against this Army of Twins with announcing a long awaited breakthrough in the Ted Lilly Fan Club Cloning Machine: The Ability to Clone.
Unfortunately, we haven't been able to clone Ted Lilly, but we have been able to clone other Cubs. In the past, we've just killed off the extras by drowning them (inspiration The Prestige) but we've now decided to let loose multiplicity of Fontenot's and Reed Johnson's. Think of the Fun!
While TwinReed Johnson plays baseball, Real Reed Johnson can comment on TwinClone Reed's facial hair. TwinDavid Patton could keep Real David Patton company as he langishs on the bench. Real Milton Bradley could ironically play board games with TwinMilton Bradley and TwinRich Harden could pitch while Real Rich gets some extra rest, genius!
We've got Ted on Sunday, TedHeads. Weekend prediction. No sleep. 20 Sanka's. 2 Cub's Wins. and furious excitement for the TL sweep.
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