Ted Lilly's Man Crush? Home Runs

Maybe it's the fact that he equates home runs to fire works (and he looooves fireworks) or maybe he felt bad that Mags hadn't hit a home run in 40 games (spoken in Sosa-ian Spanglish) or maybe it's simply because he weirdly promised a sick child at Detroit Receiving Hospital that he'd give up 2 HRs/10Hs/6 ERs today in his start but we can't deny the truth: Ted Lilly loves the long ball.

Sure, this was Ted's first loss in a month. Sure, he still has mind-blowing abs but this loss still really hurt.

We got swept by the Tigers?!? The F-ing Tigers? Only time the Tigers have ever been cool was when Magnum PI started rocking their hat in the mid-1980s and that might have only been because he had a very solid mustache (remember: members of the TLFC are still perpetually stuck in Stage 3 of Facial Hair Growth Life Stages--also known as Wicker Park Whiskers).

Cubs now sink one game below .500 at a not-so-sweet 34-35 as we march (slump?) into this weekend's second installment of the crosstown classic. At least, instead of dealing with bankrupt automakers in Detroit, we can focus on AJ Pierzynski taunts and questionable Ozzie jokes...