MLB would call this a "ND," we would call it a "Win"No Decision, huh? If MLB insists that yesterday's Tedtastic pitching performance was a "No Decision," instead of a what we feel was an "Uplifting and Truly Important Ted Lilly Moment (TITLM)" then we wonder how MLB scorers might judge other moments in history:
The Apollo Program: Man on the Moon, huge technical and emotional event for the history of the US. July 16, 1969. TLFC Verdict: Huge W - USA fulfills the challenge of the late President Kennedy, encourages huge interest in science and math, sets stage for technological age. MLB scores: No Decision - Kennedy called for "the long-range exploration of space," Mars still not visited.
Beverley Hills, 90210: Something In The Air (aka Donna Martin Graduates Episode) - The class, led by Brandon, rallies around Donna Martin to allow her to graduate. This is successful... or is it? Donna still gets a 'minor punishment.' TLFC Verdict: Huge Victory for Donna Martin, Democracy, and Freedom of Speech. MLB scorer: No Decision, Dylan didn't participate in rally.
The Battle of Waterloo: The British love to recall their Imperial greatness with this one. The Iron Duke delivered a brutal blow to Napoleon's hopes of Continental glory, setting the stage for his eventual defeat and the rise of Victorian England. Roughly one month later, Napoleon surrenders, begins exile. TLFC Verdict: Huge Win for the Brits, Huge loss for Tyranny. MLB Scorers: No Decision, Wellington - No Decision, mop-up man Frederick Lewis Miatland gets the Win for accepting Napoleon's surrender.
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Our visceral hate for the Win Stat aside, we're not kidding about this win being a Truly Important Ted Lilly Moment. On June 10 2007, Cubs were 27 and 34 (27-34!) when we called Ted's beaning of Edgar Renteria, a TITLM that would inspire the squad. Cub's finish the season at 85-77 with a division crown, we open Ted Lily Fan Club Card Reading and Physchic Friends Network (TLFCCRAPFN).
Similar scene this time around. Cubbies, in the dumps, get a gritty, warrior- esque performance from their spiritual leader, then do their part to win it in the Ninth. That's how these things start. We still believe - Cubs 2009 Division Champs, who's on board?
3 comments:
Me! I'm on board for Cubs division champs 2009. I have a funny feeling in my little toe that this team is going to get HOT in the second half. GTBTTL!
Sign me up -- I'm on board too! Personally, I'm disgusted at the poor judgment of the MLB Scorer... and of Dylan McKay.
I'm on board! I mean come on, we can't let the boo-hoo crew or the dirty red birds win the division!
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