As "American Idol" fever swept the streets of Chicago yesterday, thousands of hopefuls packed the United Center for the remote chance of following in the footsteps of other "Idol" celebrities like Fantasia, Ruben Studdard and Clay Aiken.According to a report from the Chicago Tribune's bastard step-child Red Eye, during the auditions, people dressed as "dress as hot dogs, witches and pimps" and "those who made the cut Monday will audition before executive producers later in the summer, and the lucky survivors of those cuts will return to Chicago in August to sing for Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul, Randy Jackson and Kara DioGuardi."
However, while the judges did not participate in these auditions, the TLFC's own in-house fanzine/ newspaper, The Daily Scout was able to secure some face-time and soundbites from the judges.
First, Randy commented on Ted, "You the Ted now, Dog" before offering up fist-bumps as a sign that he fully approves of TL. Granted, Ted traditionally only fist-bumps his trusty hawk, Fury (okay so maybe it's more a talon bump) but we'll allow this transgression this time.
Then, Paula joined in, "You take two steps forward, I take two steps back in my ability to not obsess over Ted" (she then spent the rest of the interview fawning over Ted's Idoltastic abs and asking where MC Skat Cat was.)
Someone named Kara DioGuardi is apparently the newest American Idol judge, but we don't actually watch the show (ed note - not true, we watch religiously) so we're not sure what her catch phrase is. We can only assume she'd comment on the true genius of a Ted Lilly inside change-up and marvel at TL's Ox -esque muscle power.
Finally, the king of the t-shirt and acerbic barb, Simon quieted the room with a simple but resounding statement, "In all my years in the industry, Ted Lilly is hands-down the best performer slash entertainer slash alpha male that I have ever seen. He IS the world's Idol."
Truer words have never been spoken, TedHeads...
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