Like any good fan club, we waited patiently for our turn last night to see our boy, Ted "Theodore Roosevelt" Lilly get the ball in All-Star Game. We know that the David Wright Fan Club probably had a grand ole time when their guy was voted a starter and, of course, the Jayson Werth Fan Club was probably just happy to be there but we settled into our couch earlier, poured a few cocktails and, like Armaggedon, awaited the coming of our demi-god TL.But, like some misguided cult, that moment never came.
Charlie Manuel (Charlie F-ing Manuel!), in his infinite wisdom, decided that, in a bid to win their first All-Star game in 13 years, Heath Bell made more sense than a certain 5"10" lefty from Torrance, CA who simply knows how to win (think Granderson would have touched the Lillyhammer? Doubt it). End result, not surprisingly, was Bell giving up the eventual winning run and taking the loss for the NL.
Ted meanwhile languished on the bench, did ab work in between innings, taught Johan Santana how to throw a man's curve ball and had words with Tim Linecum about cutting his god-damn hippie hair.
Sigh.
At least, Frank Srgo, the maitre d' at Italian Village, recognizes Ted's unique greatness, describing TL as, "one of the most beautiful persons there is. Him and his wife both. Unbelievable."
Few Game Notes:
- So utterly ridiculous that the classy St. Louis fans booed Ted during introductions. Ted's response? Warm smile, quiet tip of the hat and a growing fire in his belly when the Cubs next play the Cards
- Tim Lincecum: Fakey TL (You've got to earn those initials, son)
- Lot of hoopla around the President being at the ASG--wonder if he was excited to meet Ted?
- More importantly, we are clearly not going to talk about the President's pitch and/or ChiSox jacket for fear of Secret Service visits to the FC lost or the IRS looking into our taxes (no need to jeporadize our 501(c)3 status)...
- ....but we will talk for a moment about how ridiculous Joe Buck looked asking, on live TV, if the President could stay and chat for another inning. Sure, Joe, while the economy is crumbling/potential nuclear war in North Korea/troops dying in Afghanistan, let's ask the President if he can stay and chat like a bunch of grandmothers sipping lemonade on a porch
- Curious as to which of the following ranks higher on the Immaturity Scale: "Pujols Ripped One" or "Mauer's Got a Great Stroke". We're going with "Pujols" by a nose...
It's all right, TedHeads--things are going to be ok. At least, we have this Chicago Tribune Photo Gallery on Ted to heal those wounds
6 comments:
Shameful that Ted did not get to play, just shameful!! For a game that really means nothing, you would think the manager would give every guy that was privileged enough to be there the opportunity to get out on the field. If Lou were the manager, he would have least put Ted in left field or something. I don't which was the "Worst moment in 2009 All Star History", booing Ted, Ted not playing or the incessant fawning over Pujols. Bad times all around.
Fellow TedHead and frequent TLFC commenter Elizabeth and I watched the game at my place, complete with hot dogs and cornbread (TL's favorite, of course), and were dismayed (read: throwing things out the window) when the ninth inning came and still there was no Ted.
At least we had the warm, reassuring glow of a TL smile and hat tip. We all know the truth. Oh, we know it.
It's okay there lil'TedHeads, we're moving on...
Second half goals:
1: World Domination, one LillyHammer at a time
2: Recognize that Children are our future, show them the beauty they possess inside.
3: Make the playoffs, GTBTT.
if we just GTBTT, we should be fine. And world peace should be achieved. Carry on TedHeads, carry on!
I swear that I heard screaching sound of political defection coming from the North Side when the quote "I'm not a Cubs Hater" was uttered. Do you think Lilly was kept out at the request of the Commander in Cheif?
Well, LA WOF, we think it's fairly certain that POTUS made the call to keep TL from no-hitting the AL--he is smart enough to know that the best way to win a war is to not let the opponenet fire their best weapon
To quote Fallout Boy, this ain't a scene, it's a god damn arms race.
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