Ted to have "Surgery," TLFC to seek "Therapy"

Sweet Jesus.

You'll have to excuse us TedHeads, we've needed some time to digest the most recent Ted Lilly news: a long DL stint for our hero. Our first reaction might have not been the best: we jumped in the TLFC camper and just drove. Lots of Dixie Chicks, lots of Metalica, lots of silence, lots of Cheetos, lots of lonely western roads...we just drove.

When we stopped, well, we drank. A. Lot. Our thoughts struggled to comprehend, "Ted feels no pain, his body made of iron, grit, sheer will, and metal, how could a mere mortal 'surgery' fix him," we said to ourselves, "TL needs no rest, his soul spans time and space, so why does his shoulder need 'rest.'" But, per usual, drinking didn't help (ed. note, drinking absolutely helps).

We got in the camper and went home. More Dixie chicks, more Cheetos, more tears. We pulled up the the TLFCHQ eagerly awaiting sleep on the cold floor of the TLFCHQ Bathroom and Steam Shower (TLFCHWBASS) - we don't deserve the comfort of our bed. But, what? Huzzah! The Cubs are in first place... what's happening here?

This is where you'd expect us to claim that Ted faked his injury to disguise himself as Alfonso Soriano or any number of suddenly hot Cubs hitters (ed note, that's exactly what's happening) but we're not going to do that.

What we are going to do is to announce something absolutely absurd: every fifth day we're going to simulate a Ted Lilly start and act like it actually happened. That's right we're going to simulate every Ted Lilly start and act like it actually happened. That's insane, we know it, and we've already made an appointment with our therapists.

How are going to do this? Well, the video game, "MLB: The Show" is the obvious choice, but we've got some other ideas. Heck, we might just make the whole thing up. It's our way of coping and you're just going to have to deal with it.

Ted's next turn is this Thursday. Fire it Up.