Ok—we’ll grant you the Noble Prizes in Physics for Charles K. Kao (who discovered how to transmit light through fiber optics) and the team of Willard S. Boyle and George E. Smith (who designed the first digital-imaging sensor) but Elizabeth Blackburn and team’s Nobel for her research on telomeres (aka the protective ends of chromosomes)? Hog wash.Where’s Ted Lilly’s prize? Where the f- is Ted Lilly's prize?
Can Elizabeth throw a face-melting Lillyhammer? Nope. Can team member Carol W. Greider carry an entire Cubs team on their back for a season? Not likely. Has third team member Jack W. Szostak been nominated by his colleagues at Howard Hughes Medical Institute for the Roberto Clemente Award? Try again.
Now, Ted has already been awarded the Nobel Prize for Peace (which he later declined to give glory hound Al Gore his 15 minutes of fame) but that was two years ago. Looking down the list of Nobel Prizes that have yet to be awarded, we feel that two make perfect sense to give to Ted to add to his growing (but not important) collection of hardware (which includes a few All-Star Game appearances, a 2009 roster spot on Team USA and a future 2010 Cy Young).
- Nobel Prize For Literature: For Ted's book, "It Takes A Lillyhammer" about his ragtag youth and claim to fame as a member of the Fresno City College baseball squad (Go Rams!)
- Nobel Prize for Chemistry: For Ted's own examination of his body's molecular structure to determine why he is, in fact, immortal
TBD on whether the "geniuses" in Oslo will wake up and smell the Sanka and give TL the prize but, if not, we have a homemade version of our own (made from old Hersey Kiss foil wrappers, popsicle sticks and some glitter we stole from a Chicago Public School classroom). That said--we wouldn't give it to Ted b/c, let's be honest, that'd be creepy and, as part of our TLFC mandate, we can't cross the 4th wall and actually interact with Ted (result would be akin to blowing up the Death Star but, in this example, even the Ewoks die).
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