Wednesday, October 14, 2009

On Eve Of 2nd Round Of MLB Playoffs, Ted Lilly Fan Club Sits Down With Nostradamus

On the eve of the second round of the MLB playoffs, we decided that we would grow up a little bit by putting away the magic eight ball (sorry little buddy) and stepping up our game a bit. The result? A TLFC exclusive! A one-on-one interview with famed prognosticator and French apothecary Michel de Nostredame aka Nostradamus to get his predictions about the Phils/Dodgers and Yanks/Halos series AND other random tidbits.

TLFC: Nostradamus--welcome to the Ted Lilly Fan Club loft--happy to have you here.
N: Thanks--i just flew in from the year 1566 and boy are my arms tired! Yuck yuck yuck.
TLFC: Ummmm---okay. Anyway, let's start off with the New York Yankees match-up with the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. What are your thoughts on the series?
N: I see that the young lion will overcome the older one,On the field of combat in a single battle;He will pierce his eyes through a golden cage,Two wounds made one, then he dies a cruel death.
TLFC: It sounds like you're picking up the upstart Angles to beat the more veteran-laden Yankees?
N: Yep---Kazmir is sick, defense is gold glove-friendly and the Yanks move to a three-man rotation in seven game series is most unwise--like that Nazi picking the wrong chalice in "Last Crusade".
TLFC: How about the Phils/Dodgers?
N: An Emperor shall be born near Italy. Who shall cost the Empire dear, They shall say, with what people he keeps company He shall be found less a Prince than a butcher.
TLFC: Are you talking about Tommy LaSorda, Special Advisor to the GM of the Dodgers? Pretty sure that he was actually born in Pennsylvania.
N: Mark my words heathen---this emperor thou dost embrace nutrisystem in jest. He shall mark the downfall of the empire.
TLFC: Okay--settle down, you're clearly picking the Phils. What else?
N: I'm getting another vision, another prophecy: He shall come to tyrannize the land. He shall raise up a hatred that had long been dormant.
TLFC: Any idea what this means?
N: Not sure--this happens a lot when I don't take my meds but, if I had to guess, I'd say that it probably has to do w/ John Cusack's new movie, 2012. Guy had so much promise but has really gone off the deep end into bad movie territory. I mean, did you see Ice Harvest or Must Love Dogs? Ugh---I'd take a 1000 years in hell if it meant I didn't have to see a Seredipity II.
TLFC: This is clearly getting weird. Any last thoughts? We need to, ummmmm, errgggghhh, go someplace other than here.
N: Yes--final thought---from the sky will come the great King of Terror. He will bring back to life the King of the Mongols; Before and after war reigns.
TLFC: Joe Buck? Is he and his terrible announcing the King of Terror? Wow...
N: Be afraid, be very afraid...

3 comments:

KD said...

Wow.....laughing out loud over here. Thanks TLFC for the giggle on an otherwise dreary Friday here in the STL...

PS-TED LILLY RULES!

Official Ted Lilly Fan Club said...

If we know you KD (and we think we do), TLFC knows that you of all people would hate the idea of a Serendipity II.

As for last point, we agree--Ted Lilly does, in fact, rule. Now, we need to keep our eyes peeled to Game 2 of World Series when, hopefully, he'll be announced as Roberto Clemente Award winner.

If not--we start burning couches.

KD said...

TL had BETTER win, if not, I have 2 couches I can donate to the cause. Name the time and place, TLFC.