Ouch.
Ouch for two reason.
First - Ouch: replay's of Matt Holliday's outfield gaffe indicate that his man- parts now likely reside deep within his body cavity. For all you Lady Tedheads out there, the result direct impact of a hard hit, line drive, baseball into a man's nether regions is not fun. Late last night we replicated the situation with out Ted Lilly Fan Club Pitching Machine and Line Drive Simulator (TLFCPMALDS) and our jaws still remain clenched on a strip of raw hide. Fortunately, The State had us sterilized to prevent reproduction, so no harm - no foul.
Second - Ouch: our friends from the eighth circle of hell, St. Louis, can't be too pleased right now. Sure, our Missouri backwater brethren, those "true fans of baseball" are probably holding on blissfully to the possibility of a comeback, but then again, they're also probably holding out for a repeal of the Nineteenth Amendment.
Matt Holliday, guess what? We don't blame you and no one else should. Let us see, two outs, bottom of the ninth, no one on base. A diving line drive in the late afternoon LA sun, you make an error. We might be old school, but up a run, man on first, two outs is still an enviable position. We're going to go ahead and blame LaRussa - he was likely drunk driving while petting animals and didn't have the appropriate mindset to settle his team down.
Tedheads, this is a win-win for us. St. Louis wins this series, you're treated to another few posts of anti-St. Lousi vitriol, likely with Joe Buck Flavor! St. Louis loses, well, St. Louis losses and we celebrate! Tip of the cap to you, Matt Holiday, for a Tedtastic play!
4 comments:
Dear TLFC,
As you know I live in the eighth circle of hell known as STL. Luckily for me, I got wise and became a Cubs fan at the ripe old age of 12. :)
For your reading pleasure, I spotted this article on stltoday.com this morning and thought I'd share. LOVE the excuses.
http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/sports/stories.nsf/cardinals/story/7814EBF67D15291B8625764A000A41DA?OpenDocument
KD, OK, that's pretty funny. Does the entire St. Louis area have a crush on Man-Boy Rasmus? No one mentioned his bone-headed base running in the 7th.
I came across the music video "Colby Rasmus Fire Burning in the Outfield" while looking for anything critical about him. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pI8l87uyDXM)
Thought you could take solace, dear TLFC, that you've never been this creepy. Or lame. My head still hurts thinking of all of the gross connotations of that title.
KD- Classic propaganda. St Louis Cardinals color: Red. Communists color: Red. Coincidence, we think not.
Steph. That was amazing. In the outfield Woooo oah! Our only problem is that Fire in the Outfield isn't necessarily a good thing. Maybe lightening or thunder, but fire kinda scares us. Woooo oah!
Steph-every girl age 17 and under has a crush on Rasmus. I think he looks like he's missing a chromosome, but whatever.
Good Riddance is all I have to say. :)
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